Disclaimer: Seiken Densetsu 3 does not belong to me,
Analyn: Considering your name isn't Squeenix, I coulda guessed this one.
although I'm using the characters out of no profit to fulfill my imagination's needs.
(that sounded so... not right. Haha, don't get the wrong ideas people!)
Jeff: But ... that's my job. I'm the resident pervert. It's like Analyn's the Nazi and Eddie's the village idiot.
Jeff: Look over there, it's a shiny!
Eddie: What? Where? Whee shiny!
~Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination~
Analyn: Coincidentally, you can get Love finance-free! No tricks until 2006!
Eddie: Dude! [sings] When you dismiss the rest of all possible worlds, you'll find that this is the best of all possible worlds!
-Beautiful Mind- Chapter I: A love before our meeting
Her honeyed lips of a desert fruit
Analyn: Oh dear God in Heaven. We're gonna need wading boots to get through this, aren't we.
trembled upon my lustful touch like ripples from a silk-like pond,
Jeff: Raise your hand if you read that as "nipples from a silk-like pond".
Analyn: It'd sure make this more interesting, anyway.
the shivering satin pleasure most delicate that resembles her fair skin well.
Eddie: Skin? Weren't we talking about her lips a second ago?
Jeff: And why the heck is she shaking?
Analyn: TRUFFLE SHUFFLE!
A simple kiss tells a hundred fables of a dubious romance between a hopelessly amorous thief,
and the bewitching image of the goddess herself as my angel.
Eddie: Dude worsups Elizabeth Motgomery, gotcha.
Her smooth hands hesitantly push me away,
Analyn: [whoever the girl is] Eww B.O.!
yet when her angelic hands even caress mine,
Eddie: [sings] Sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much...
I feel that my heart has woken up from it's delusions and what tortured bliss it feels when I have lost the feel of her fingers in my grasp.
Jeff: So. Dude gets a massive boner from a girl shoving him. Someone's spent a little too much time in Mom's basement playing Everquest.
Oh is it a sin to lay my greedy hands on such essence of heavenly splendor?
Analyn: Perhaps if you're Southern Baptist.
Dare say, a thousand times I'd suffer my sin until her lithe fingers I adore so respond to my cry of desirable thirst.
Jeff: He wants a hand job.
Analyn: Usually I'd yell at you, but you know, that's exactly what that means.
Only a devil's advocate is capable of blemishing that purity with its tainted soul of covetousness.
Eddie: Wait, what does that even mean?
Analyn: Only ... someone who speaks for the other side just for the sake of argument ... can ... ruin this chick's purity ... with ... jealousy?
Eddie: So. What does that mean?
Analyn: I don't know. Hey, let's write down words and hope for the best!
And so therefore I am considered one among those creatures of iniquity?
Analyn: I think the dude's jealous and it's somehow ruined the girl.
Jeff: Well, it's ruining my mind, that's for sure.
Goddess spare my soul of its hunger for a chaste angel,
Jeff: I get it! Someone's hot for virgins!
my determination cultivates and yearns for the most perilous wish among them all. I want to capture the exquisite dove, shred her wings and tarnish them so she may not return to thee, lock her in a golden cage so that she may look down upon me with all the abhorrence she has, yet my heart only bleeds of gluttony with my fiery passion.
Analyn: That ... that's just filthy!
Jeff: Holy crap! He's talking about making this girl's first time really kinky! Like tied to the bed with barbed wire kinky!
Eddie: Then remove her clothes piece by piece and replace them with edible versions!
Analyn: Then he straddles her, wearing nothing but pleather and nipple tassels!
Jeff: He gently drizzles hot chocolate over her quivering body, which is twisting for escape!
Eddie: Meanwhile, a dog with a strap-on comes in the room with anal beads dangling from its mouth!
Analyn: All of which will be used for what has yet to "come"!
Analyn: We're ... we're the most frightening people on the Internet.
Eddie: Barring furries.
Analyn: Well, yes.
'Liar' she called me.
Eddie: [narrator] "Liar," she repeated again. "Pants ... on ... fire."
To think only a solitary single word can twist at my heart with venomous knives of frustration and doubt; the irony makes me laugh.
Analyn: Alanis Morrisete joke here.
A thief lies of most authentic tales to get what they crave;
Jeff: "A thief lies by telling the truth..."
even so, my skills of trickery cannot fool her perceptive eyes of
Eddie: ... of PERCEPTION!
Analyn: Is it deceptive murder? Or MURDEROUS DECEPTION!?
the moon's cherished sapphire. I have done no wrong to my dear sweet nymph of beauty,
Jeff: I hear you brother.
Jeff: Man. Women.
Eddie: Who needs 'em!
Jeff: Yeah, maybe you think you're innocent. But boy howdy, let me tell you what, you look at 'em cross eyed and it's the dog house for you.
Eddie: You said it!
Jeff: What with their knittin' and their shoppin'. They oughta be in the kitchen making pies all day.
Eddie: Apple pies!
Jeff: You get a group of broads together and it's either a Tupperware party or a witch coven, I tell you what.
Analyn: I happen to be female!
Eddie: It's not nice to lie, Analyn.
Analyn: Shut up.
but if it were to cease her cries, then I shall take the most brutal punishment as my penalty of making her voice alter to such hurting weeps.
Analyn: Goodness, how'zabout altering that sentence to make my head stop hurting!?
Eddie: Wait, wasn't he wanting to bend her over and butt rape her until she tore into two like a second ago?
Jeff: Oh! I get it! He wants to be dominated, not the other way around!
Analyn: So he wants her to make a snuff film staring him and then skull rape his deceased eye socket with a dildo.
Jeff: I think so.
Analyn: As long as we're on the same page.
Tears of hurt fall from her ocean,
Eddie: Her ... her bladder?
Analyn: No golden showers, no golden showers, oh please fanfic, no golden showers!
portraying a similarity to dew drops from a rare blue rose, gradually falling smoothly down the petal-soft skin and dieing softly on her lush lips.
Jeff: Quick! Bad 80s rock quote time!
Analyn: [sings] This is what it sounds like when doves cry!
Eddie: [sings] I just died in your arms tonight!
Jeff: [sings] Don't cry tonight, I still love you baby...
Analyn: [sings] I wont even start to cry, and before we say goodbye, I tried to say I love you, but the words got in the way!
Eddie: [sings] You leave me so confused! And now I'm all cried out over you..
Jeff: [sings] Who you gonna call?
All: GHOST BUSTERS!
I envy the tear.
Analyn: I envy anyone currently NOT reading this fic!
I spare her my words
Jeff: Well you sure as hell didn't spare us any!
and captured her slender form into my hungry grasp with the power of passion, devotion, and need surging through me like lighting shattering the velvet dusk skies when the heavens cry.
Analyn: Oh no! Rape fic!
Eddie: [sings] THIS IS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE WHEN DOVES --
Analyn: Eddie! That ship sailed!
Eddie: [sings, weakly] Come sail away, come sail away ... ?
She stiffens at my actions and I could feel her warm body want out from my fervent embrace, yet it only drives me to hold her tighter for I unwillingly want to let go of such a prize kings would avidly dream of.
Jeff: Oh ... oh God. God in Heaven, this IS rape fic.
Analyn: I'm not seeing two ways to interpret this here.
Eddie: Maybe ... maybe Santa will come down from the clouds and make it all better?
Analyn: Not this time.
Eddie: [covers his ears and sings] THIS IS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE WHEN DOVES CRY...
Snaking my hands down her arm and finally intertwining her delicate fingers into mine, I pull at her slim waist towards me and whisper words of my varied imagination into her ears.
Analyn: Dude's got like a hojillion of them.
Jeff: [Narrator] It took me many an hour to utter my filthy, degrading fantasies from the depths of my heart into my lady's chaste, pale hearing orifice.
Words of passion, need, lust... love.
Eddie: Rape. Say it. Rape.
"Please, stop it." She pleads;
Jeff: You and me both.
her soft voice no longer carried such loving melodies of joy, but escaping from within her quivering lips was a harsh carol sung in a bittersweet tenor of sadness.
Analyn: Melodies, carol? Tenor? Congratulations, you just beat the ever-loving hell out of a metaphor.
Taking a step back from me, her grip on my shaking hands loosen
Eddie: ... as she reaches for her rape whistle.
but I managed still to linger my fingers around hers, afraid that I might lose my most precious gem a thief value amongst all within a golden mountain of luc.
Jeff: You realize that that's the first reference to the Mana series this fic has had. MAYBE second one if you count the reference to a Goddess earlier.
Eddie: How does this even fit into Mana cannon?
Analyn: Maybe that's Hawk as the narrator? Maybe he's talking to Isabel? That's such a stretch, it's all so out-of-character.
Eddie: Maybe it's Alex talking to Pearl?
Jeff: Maybe this is a steaming pile sprinkled liberally with creepy rape undertones?
Analyn: Yeah, that's probably it.
Her illuminate eyes shimmer
Analyn: Penalty! Illuminate is a verb!
within those glassy orbs of enchantment, captivating me for I can only gasp at the melancholy sorrow portrayed in those strong depths of obscurity.
Eddie: You ... you're not allowed to use a thesaurus any more.
Analyn: THIS, kids, is why we read our work out loud!
Her retreating form haunts me, for the callous wound she has skillfully carved into my soul may never heal or return to its former empty shell.
Jeff: Instead, it's gonna return to one of those hermit crab shells they sell at the mall with the neon plastic sunglasses hot glued on them.
You are so unkind fair maiden of my dreams.
Analyn: Excuse YOU, Mr. Rapey McRaperape, you were all like "hey I'm gonna talk a lot and try to sex you," and then you've got the stones to call HER unkind!?
Nameless stranger of goddess given loveliness,
Eddie: You ... you don't know her name. Yet you're madly infatuated with her.
Jeff: "In love," as he'd put it.
Analyn: I guess he was planning to ask as he was getting his gel dildo and whip lubed up.
I look forward to the day I may grace my unworthy eyes upon you. I will remember your divine face oh dear maiden for I would just feel incomplete without your beauty etched into my mind.
Analyn: Did you run out of commas, or what's going on here?
Jeff: When you have so many words that you actually run out of punctuation, there is a problem.
To search the very ends of all of Fa'Diel, I will find you.
Eddie: Quite honestly, I don't want this guy searching any ends.
But oh, this is merely a figment that my mind wishes to play with my mind.
Jeff: ... huh?
Then why is that my dreams appear to be so real?
Eddie: [sings] To dream the impossible dream...
It is like I'm witnessing a fairytale fantasy, my princess awaiting me in this dreamlike world.
Analyn: [Narrator] And all I want to do is for her to climb my hair to the top of my evil tower so I can put on a pretty dress and dance at the ball with her.
Tell me fair princess; will you still be here every time I close my eyes?
Eddie: Like, right under his eyelids? Ow.
But I warn you fair child or royalty,
Analyn: Do ... do we get to pick?
I am no noble prince, I most resemble the evil villain who kidnaps the vulnerable heroine,
Jeff: Dude! He so looks like Snidely Whiplash!
but my heart can be as chivalric as a charming prince. So answer me true, will you still accept me for who I am?
Eddie: If you'll SHUT UP for ten seconds, then maybe ... !
Disregarding my hopeful question she leaves,
Analyn: Raise your hand if you wouldn't.
with only a smile for me to keep;
All: [sing] I've got something in my pocket, it belongs across my face!
such bittersweet cruelness.
*Screams and throws her computer out the window.*
Jeff: Well! Yeah, your audience had the same reaction.
Analyn: From the purplest of purple, to, "Like, OHMYGOD!!!"
I don't know what I just wrote but it was really crapy and corny haha.
Eddie: No comment.
And Also ff.net keeps on screwing me over! I can't sign in or anything! When I did, I had so many uploading problems, I seriously wanted to kill someone. (I'm not one for patience.)
Analyn: Screwing and killing. Well, yes, that's basically what you wrote, so hey.
I'm listening to this really good Spanish song right now. It's melody is sad, beautiful, and a bit haunting, I love it !! It's called,
Jeff: ... LIVE JOURNAL. It's called LIVE JOURNAL, blog there!
'Hijo de la luna' by Sarah Brightman or Mecano.
Analyn: I'm listening to "The Geeks Get The Girls" by American Hi Fi, but no one cares.
Jeff: Gives us hope, Annie?
Analyn: Stuff it.
Translated, its called 'Son of the Moon'. I found this song out when my dance teacher was playing it during our warm ups when we were doing pirouettes.
Eddie: Didn't the fic end about ten lines up? Just let it die! Let go!
The song lyrics will be posted up in my profile so yeah... it's weird, it actually tells a tale, really much like those olden songs hehe.
Analyn: "Geeks Get The Girls" tells a story, but I'm not hopping around about it.
Oh boy.. My absence, has it been. 2-3 months?
Jeff: Don't care.
And here I am starting a new fic!
Jeff: Don't care!
Ah, believe me,
Jeff: I --
I have really scolded myself for that many times.
Jeff: -- don't --
I just wrote this to get it out of my system,
Jeff: -- care!
don't ask why,
Analyn: Okay, we won't! Seriously, we don't want another ten page dissertation from you!
its one of those fics that probably will not be continued.
Eddie: You can't continue it if you won't end it!
It's a warm up, yeah, just a simple warm up for my other ficcys. ^_^;;
Analyn: Now you're just bragging! You know this isn't "simple" at all, but you're lying to us just to make us think you can lay a turd out like this with no effort. Congratulations, you've impressed people on Teh International Webnet, what're you gonna do now?!
It confuses me actually, but that's what my stories are kind of like...
Jeff: That's not a good thing!
Please read and review! E-mail me if you have any questions and comments.
Eddie: No! No comments! No questions! We're done! Go away!