The Marching Band Accident
Analyn: Well, it's a descriptive title.
Jeff: Yeah, points. At least she didn't call it something like "Clouds" or "Shiny" or something.
Eddie: What is this, Montana? Look at all the space!
Written by Michelle
Analyn: I guess we're so important that our name MUST be ALL ALONE on some wide expanse of space.
Eddie: Who does this author think she is, giving us commands?
This story is about a girl named Mica.
Analyn: Who is in no way whatsoever a Mary Sue.
Jeff: Isn't Mica a boy's name?
She is in the marching at her school and the instrument she plays is the tuba.
Eddie: "And she plays tuba." Really, did she
think we'd be grading on length?
Jeff: I'm no band director, but I didn't think you could march a tuba...
Well the marching band I going to head of towards band camp.
Analyn: We're three lines in, and she flat out admits that she and Mica are one and the same!
Jeff: This sentence needs a doctor.
On the way Mica bring her game boy and all her pokemon games.
Eddie: I'm guessing she didn't bring her English homework.
While she plays her game boy
Jeff: Waaaait, if you're telling us this NOW, why do we need to read the story LATER?
she notices a glitch in her
Analyn: Well, yes, I think we can all agree
that there's a glitch in her.
Eddie: This fic is a little bit like shooting fish in a barrel...
and its the red version of pokemon.
Jeff: ... so?!
As she notices she get digitally transported to the pokemon world like the one on TV, and in to the hoean regain
Eddie: You clean up your mouth, little lady!
where ash is at. So she teams up with him on his way
and gets hear own pokemon from Pro.Brich.
Eddie: What did I tell you about swearing! I think this fic needs a time out.
But all in the world to her is that she just wants to get back to her world.
Jeff: Wow, that's a cool little paradox there!
There's this world INSIDE her, and she wants to get IN it, but if she's INSIDE
herself, then there's still an INSIDE to HER, which is the WORLD...
Analyn: If this turns into a .hack// crossover, I'm jumping ship.
This is going to a grate story
Analyn: Nice of you to tell us. Otherwise we'd
Jeff: Do you ever wonder what would happen if Hemmingway or Dickenson started a story like this?
If you are in the band
Eddie: I'm an an 80s cover band, does that
Jeff: You are?
Eddie: Yeah. If you ever want to hear any Cindi Lauper, Duran Duran, or anything off the Breakfast Club soundtrack, you just let me know.
Jeff: ... you keep far away from me.
so you will haft to wait till I start the story so see you for know till I up date.
Analyn: Up date? As opposed to what, down
Jeff: I guess that's when you go on a date with a really really fantastic loser.
On The way to Band Camp
All: "So, this one time at band camp..."
Analyn: I guarantee we hear a variation of this line at least once.
Its was one of those days for mica.
Jeff: One of WHAT days? This could be any given
possibility of days. Did she win the lottery? Did she eat poop? WHAT?
Eddie: Hee hee! Formica!
This was so because she was on her way to band camp.
Jeff: Once again! This could entail any number
of random possibilities! On the way to band camp, did she win the lottery?
Did she eat poop?
Analyn: Geez. You're starting to sound like me.
At band camp, mica thought it was ok for one week having a heavy tuba on her sholder.
Analyn: Right, call me when your instrument
is two feet taller than you.
Jeff: Yeah, fft. Tuba. Where's the string bass love?
Eddie: Everyone knows the string bass is the best instrument there is.
Most of the girls In her class thought she was crazy,
Eddie: With good reason.
but they did not mine.
Jeff: Well, quite literally, because they weren't at mining camp.
Her mother on the other hand
Analyn: ... practically lived in the coal mines, earning a small but meager wage daily so her daughter could afford Pokemon game after Pokemon game.
was taking Mica to the School so her daughter can go.
Jeff: Pee. [all snicker]
"Are we their yet mom", as Mica said sitting in the back of the car listing to one of her poke'mon CDs
Eddie: What do you want to bet me it was "The
Best of Pikachu?"
Analyn: Ninety minutes of "Pika pika, pikachu, pika pi!" You know it would sell. Well.
"Wear almost their dear, but do you have every thing with you".
Analyn: [Mom] Gameboy?
Jeff: [Mica] Check.
Analyn: [Mom] Inexplicably glitched game?
Jeff: [Mica] Check.
Analyn: [Mom] English book?
Jeff: [Mica] Oh rats.
Analyn: [Mom] That's okay, you'll get on without it. Prerequisite crush on some random guy in the fic for no good canonical reason?
Jeff: [Mica] Give it a minute.
Analyn: [Mom] Well, good. And I guess you've got your tuba --
Jeff: [Mica] Whoops.
"yes mom and I also brought my gameboy with me so I don't get bored".
Eddie: Unlike us, who are really still waiting for the action to begin...
"ok dear just be careful with it".
Jeff: [Mica] Well, Mom, I WAS going to blow the casing off with explosives and then throw it out the bus window into a busy, car-filled street, but you've shown me a better way!
All: Yes, mas'ser!
"we are at the school and have fun this week".
Analyn: The part of Mom will be played by Captain Obvious.
Her mother told her, then drove away.
Eddie: [Mica] Hey, um, could you let me out of the car or something?
"Hay Mica" yelled lorica, "get over hear.
Jeff: Getting over hearing, wouldn't that mean
you'd be deaf?
Eddie: That's why Lorica yelled.
Analyn: HAY! I love it.
Lorica you se
Jeff: And do you sew, Saul?
is on of Micas best friends,
Jeff: Now that's just filthy.
and also there is julica
Eddie: Where'd they get these names?
Analyn: Maybe all Mica's friends are Spanish?
Jeff: Hey, maybe "band camp" is really a Mexican sweat shop.
and her guy friend Branden.
Jeff: Annie, you're the expert on bad romance
Analyn: She'll have a huge icky sticky embarrassing crush on him. Absolute 100% chance. I'd bet the letters in my name.
"So are you ready for the big day", said Julica.
Eddie: Doesn't band camp last like a week?
Analyn: This is band camp light, I guess.
"well julica I guss I am ready but something has been bothering me". Told Mica
Jeff: Told Mica what?
Analyn: I called it. I so called it.
"what ever it is mica you will be fine", as Branden said hugging her.
Eddie: Ten-to-one Branden's gay.
Jeff: Or a wishy-washy romanticized version of the real life author's real life crush.
Eddie: Or both!
Blushing as red like a tomato Mica just has a huge crush on him for a long time.
Analyn: BOO-YAH! Who's good? I'm good!
Jeff: Okay, I've got a question. It's painfully obvious that Mica's a Mary Sue and Branden has some sort of real-life counterpart that our delightful author has a crush on. Right?
Jeff: So, why then is she basically announcing it to the Internet?
Analyn: Good question. Part wish fulfillment, I guess, but after that, there may be no good answer.
Jeff: The world may never know.
"Are you ok Mica, your face is really red".
Eddie: [Mica] YOU'RE SQUEEZING TOO HARD!
"yes I am fine Branden".
Analyn: Well, perhaps that would be for HotorNot.com to decide.
Latter all the students packed up and they all got on the bus.
All: [singing] The benga bus is coming...
On the way to camp Mica was sitting with Branden and she laid her head on his sholder on the wjole way.
Analyn: Wow. Hello there, wish fulfillment.
"Oh sigh, oh melt, wouldn't it be nice if..."
Eddie: Wjole? Holy frijoles!
Jeff: Branden would have to be the single densest man alive to not know that Mica had a crush on him at this point.
Two hours later
They arrived at the camp and all the student and mica got of the bus.
Eddie: There's only one student?
Jeff: Mica's not a student?
Analyn: They got what of the bus?
Latter that day mica and the rest wear practicing.
Jeff: They were practicing wearing their doofy uniforms. It was actually model camp.
That night she go out her game boy advanced
Analyn: So THAT'S why she's not with Branden yet. Explains a lot.
and started to play pokemon ruby.
Eddie: Wait! Gasp! In the Almighty Author's
Notes, it said this happened with Pokemon Red!
Jeff: Man sakes alive, those notes are like the word of God. I'm amazed that they were violated.
Jeff: Not really.
Eddie: Thought so.
As playing the game she noticed a glitch in the game
All: [Mica] Missingno?
and suddenly she saw her arm going digitaly.
Eddie: "I'm GOIN' GHOST!"
Analyn: Digitaly. Dig Italy? So, her arm began digging a tunnel to Europe? That's a shame, I think games are released over there much later.
Jeff: Yes, but I hear that Brenden could be very open about himself over there.
"What the", she said looking at her arm.
Analyn: Yes, I think that's what we're all saying.
Suddenly out of no wear she was gone
Eddie: Out of nothing comes nothing, that's what we're to gleam from this?
In the Pokemon World
Jeff: Somehow, I have a futile hope that it's just like the little Doozers.
Ash and his friends Max, Brock, and May.
Analyn: ... were apparently abstract concepts who simply 'were' instead of doing any action or moving the story forward.
"hey whats that up ahead" said ash running towards Mica.
Jeff: Um ... it would be Mica ... ?
"It's a girl", Brock said running with ash
Analyn: So, May randomly gave birth in the middle of the fic, I see.
Mica got up and what she saw made hear jump and screem
"I am not in band camp anymore" she yelled.
Eddie: So, wait. Did she "screem" or yell? I'm
Jeff: You're not really really lost -- at least you know that you're not in band camp.
Analyn: Any more.
* next chapter she finds information on what happened and she also explains stuff to ash and gang
Jeff: For serious. If you want us to read your
story, DON'T TELL US THE WHOLE PLOT.
Eddie: Do you get the feeling that this author juuuuust completed the lesson in her grammar book about combining sentences?
Analyn: I'd be shocked if she completed any of those lessons.
Eddie: Is she channeling a mob boss now?
I don't own pokemon and if I did I would be rich
Analyn: Thanks for telling us, we need to know. Really, why do bad fanfic authors have such trouble realizing what details we need and don't need to know?
but please no bad revwis or thing like that
Jeff: No bad what?
Eddie: I guess that puts us in the clear, though. This sure isn't a revwis. I'm not even sure what a revwis is.
All in the explantaion
"are you okay their ma,am", as ash said
Analyn: The heck, is Mica thirty?
giving the strange girl a hand of the ground.
Eddie: That sounds like a Steinbeck novel, "A Hand of the Ground."
"yah but something is not right",
Analyn: Too easy.
standing on her feet evplaing
Jeff: Oh! Wait, I get it! Do you evplaing a
Analyn: You might be onto something.
to Ash and co.
Eddie: Producers of bad fanfic since 1845.
May: "what do you mean not right" she said standing on her feet next to her brother max.
Jeff: [Mica] You know what? I don't know what I'm talking about, my arm digs through Italy and I wind up in all sorts of crazy locales. Heck, last week, I was somewhere in Hyrule. This is totally par for the course.
Mica: " well lets say I came form a different world wear you guys are in a t.v. show and pokemon is not real".
Analyn: Yeah. Let's all just pretend.
Saying I a possitive way.
Jeff: [Mica] So, you guys are total bunk in my world ... but it's a good thing!
Brock: "so but what happened".
Eddie: Good job, champion. Good job.
Mica: "well it all began when I was at band camp",
Analyn: I KNEW we couldn't get two feet in this fic without hearing about this one time at band camp. Stupid bandies.
and it was at night when I was playing my gameboy andpokemon ruby",
Jeff: [Mica] Because I'm so social and cool like that.
"which is a video game
Eddie: Why do we keep breaking our quote marks?
of this world whear
Jeff: Whear you evplaing a revwis.
I train pokemon and win badges. Then challenge the elite four".
Analyn: Shouldn't this fic's target audience already know this?
Max: "and", wondering
Eddie: And then they all break into a song and dance. What else do you want to know, really? "Well, then we're the heroes of the world." "AND!?"
Mica: "well I was playing my pokmeon game", then I noticed a glitch in the game and I was transported hear and woke up where you scared me".
All: [Max] AND?!
Ash: "so how will you get back to your world", saying with a sad thought
Jeff: Ha! It's good to know that he's so welcoming. "So, when are you going to go home already?"
Mica: "I don't know"
May: "maybe you can travel with us so you can find a way home", with a joy and a smile on her face.
Jeff: Nurse Joy was on May's face? Man, Brock must be the happiest man alive.
Brock: " I think that's a grate idea". as he stands next to Mica.
Jeff: Mary Sue and Nurse Joy's face dance? Brock is in Heaven tonight!
Mica: " I guss that will work", "I mean I know a lot about pokemon from my world and have became a master in my game a couple of times".
Eddie: [snicker] Riiight. So that's why she freaked when Branden touched her. "A couple of times?" She's never known the joy of human contact, so I see.
Ash: wait a minuit
Jeff: Whear you evplaing a revwis, it only takes a minuit.
you are a pokemon master". Getting all confused for a bit.
Analyn: Oh, we all are Ash, don't worry.
Jeff: That was pertinent to the story.
Eddie: Pikachu, the greatest rat in American literature, ladies and gentlemen.
Max: "that's so cool"
Analyn: [Max] Wow, Mary Sue, you're so awesomely awesome! I love you and want you to have my babies! What other super powers do you have?
Brock: "maybe you can challenge in the pokemon leuge if you now a lot about pokemon".
Mica: " but if I do challenge the leauge I would need a pokemon first.
May: "maybe we can goto pro,birch ,
Eddie: A swear word, a grammar mistake and a programming command? Oh my!
I bet he will give you one
Mica: "Okay that sounds like a good plan".
Jeff: If less fanfic authors said this to themselves, we'd be out of work.
Ash: "well lets go then"
Analyn: [Ash] Come on, random stranger whom we know nothing about and who could easily kill us in our sleep!
As they walk mica starte singing a song
All: [singing] We're off on the road to Rhode Island...
from the pokemon show
Jeff: Seriously. Mica must spent lunch period
in the library or something. Band geek, pokemon enthusiast...
Eddie: Starte? Mica's a French philosopher in the 1940s?
Eddie: Wait, is that the name of the song?
A kid form pallet town
with the brand new world to see,
Analyn: Somehow, I am VERY doubtful that this fic is heading towards Broadway.
I don't know whats head
Eddie: I guess Mica's not a future med student, then.
but I won't get the best of me ,
Jeff: I sincerely hope we're not getting the best of you either.
There so much to learn
Analyn: Yes, from the wonderful, mysterious, delicate, intelligent world of Pokemon.
and battles to be won,
I advance so fare but still
Jeff: Well, providing you brought the money to pay.
there always more to come
Take a step and I'm on my way
Eddie: Yes, but can you do it while chewing gum?
gona starte all over again
Jeff: Gona Starte? Did we switch to Italian
all of a sudden?
Analyn: She did dig Italy, so hey.
I wanna be a hero pokemon advanced
Eddie: Wait, is that even the real lyric to
Analyn: It couldn't be. It just couldn't. "I want to be an advanced Pokemon hero?"
Jeff: To be fair, I wouldn't place the lyricist to the Pokemon theme song on my top 100 most intelligent people in the 20th century list.
I wanna be a hero give me just one chance
Analyn: What for, so you can sit in your room at night and play your Gameboy? I think we all know where this would really lead.
And the future will decide
If there's a hero buried deep inside
All: [singing] So then a hero comes along ... with the strength to carry on ...
I wanna be a hero
Jeff: That'd require a species change, wouldn't it?
Ash: "wow that was some amazing sing you have their".
Analyn: HOO-RAY, MARY SUE! She's like a whole
choir of angels!
Jeff: Somewhere, a Harvard professor sheds a tear.
Is that song about me from you world
Eddie: You world. U world. ... URANUS! [Eddie giggles]
Mica: that is right and it is for the pokemon 6th season opening in my world and that know we are kinda in the same area in the 6th season"
Analyn: [Ash] Wow, that makes perfect sense to me, as I was previously unaware of our show in your little dimension before.
but I felt like singing to keep me calm
Jeff: And I feel like a pony ride, so what?
Max: that is still cool
Analyn: Because Mary Sue can do no less.
Next chapter we see them at pro,birch place so Mica can get her pokemon
Jeff: Didn't they allude to this in the text anyway?
P.s. sorry for the writing thing because I am in a hurry today
Jeff: She didn't.
Analyn: [shocked] "Sorry for the writing thing."
Eddie: You can't do that. Can you? [upset] Analyn, can you do that?
Analyn: Good God, Lord, Christ almighty, of course you can't!
Jeff: I ... I ... there are no words.
Analyn: I have a few, most of which have four letters in them!
Eddie: I guess it's nice that she apologized ...
Jeff: Would you say that to a teacher, "sorry about the writing thing?"
Analyn: Of course you wouldn't! The aim of the game in this business is to write, so why in hell would you not take it seriously when you are writing? You've defeated your own purpose!
Jeff: Glad she takes it seriously, too, this "writing thing."
Eddie: I feel dirty now. I think I need a hug.
Jeff: Or a good solid, life-time long break from this fic.