Jeff: This again?
Analyn: It's our civic duty.
Well I have finnaly got some inspiration.
Analyn: Inspiration? Seriously, was the last
one inspired at all?
Analyn: Yeah. By her libido.
Oh and Lostsoul01, Thanks for the reiveiw! I'm glad you liked it! = )
All: Somebody has to.
Well here is chapter 2 of "The Love That Almost Wasn't"! Enjoy!
Jeff: We will. The question is, do you want us to?
Chapter 2: Captured
Analyn: Oh, perhaps we'll start reading a chemistry fic? With electrons and such?
Kota and Taria didn't talk much for the next few hours.
Eddie: "Talk is cheap. I want your body!"
Toria was to tired
Jeff: Who's Toria?
Analyn: Toria was to tired as what is to what?
and Kota was just not in the mood.
Analyn: He wasn't in his love mood?
After a bit they past another caravan.
Eddie: Time travel? Awesome!
Jeff: Good, maybe Christopher Lloyd will show
up. We've already done a Taxi reference, so it all fits together.
It consisted of four yukes, they were obviously from Shelia.
Analyn: Oh. Obviously.
Jeff: Wait. Did this fanfic just call us stupid?
"Hello fellow caravaners!" They greeted. "How is your journey going?"
Eddie: "Sexfuly!"
Analyn: They've traveled thirty yards at most.
How should they know? Can you even call it a journey yet?
"Oh, we just started out." Kota replied.
"Really, well heres some advice,
All: Speel chek!
speed through this area, there are evil creatures about."
Jeff: Robotic Richard Simmons, noooo!
Eddie: They've got weapons and stuff, right?
Why would they be afraid of monsters?
Jeff: Well, they were selected for their amazing
fighting abilities -- oh wait, no they weren't!
The caravan of yukes
continued onward.
Analyn: [Kota] Um, goodbye, or ... ?
Eddie: "Yoink!"
"They were nice, unlike you." Taria stated.
Jeff: [Kota] Well, sorry for saving you, princess.
"What was that?"
Eddie: [whines] If she repeats it, we get another
angry sex scene, don't we?!
Jeff: "Go slower!"
Analyn: "Whaaat ... doooooes ... aaaa ... yellooooow
... liiight ..."
"Nothing." She said smirking.
They continued down the road still not talking.
Analyn: [Author] You know what? I don't really
feel like dialogue today.
Eddie: [sings] On the road again ...
Jeff: Well, to be fair, Taria can suck the chrome
off a trailer hitch, apparently.
They wer unaware
Jeff: Of a dictionary, I'm guessing.
that something was watching.
All: [singing] Someone to WATCH over me ... !
A goblin jumped from behind
Analyn: Seriously, author. We've seen your work,
we don't trust you. You've got goblins "jumping from behind" now?! What kind
of freakish pervert wants to see this stuff?!
Jeff: One word. Mpreg.
Analyn: ... why is there pain in the world?!
a rock. It jumped in the wagon and stole a large bag of food before Kota and Taria could stop it.
Eddie: Ooo, fun and exciting scene we've got
here!
Jeff: I see the village elder also picked these
two for their outstanding competence, too.
Taria turned to Kota.
Analyn: [Tarina] So. Who was that Toria chick, earlier?
"You let it get away!"
Jeff: [Taria] Which is exactly why I'm standing here yelling at you instead of chasing it!
"Me? You were closer!"
Analyn: Why is he arguing? Her statement is technically true. Her relative proximity to the goblin does not change the fact that he let it get away ...
"You expect a lady to go out and catch it?"
"No, I expect you!"
All: OOOH!
Eddie: Burn!
Analyn: Wow, that hurt! What an original line,
too!
Jeff: Oh no he di'n't!
At that Taria snapped,
Eddie: Oh, snap!
Jeff: You go, girl!
Analyn: JER-RY, JER-RY...
she jumped on Kota.
Jeff: Man sakes alive, she is insatiable!
but he dodged.
Analyn: No! No! Bad fanfic! No creepy icky rape scene! No!
"I thought selkies were supposed to be known for there speed!"
Eddie: [Tarina] Oh, I didn't bring my good heroin on this trip -- oh, that's not what you meant, is it.
"Speed, I'll show you speed!"
Analyn: Okay, so Taria's a horny drug pusher. Whatever. Sure, okay.
They continued to fight until they fell from the wagon,
Eddie: What?! No!
Jeff: They're like rabbits! Seriously!
Analyn: Can this fic get worse?
luckely the chalice fell with them.
[all scream]
Analyn: Oh, God! Help us, please! It can, it
can!
Eddie: They're gonna have sex with the chalice,
aren't they?
Jeff: They'll drizzle the myrrh over each other,
gently, using it as some sort of bizarre aphrodisiac ...
Analyn: EWWWW, just ewww.
But they soon realised what
the yukes ment by speed through, for no sooner had they fallen out they were surounded by goblins!
Jeff: ... orgy?
Eddie: ... bestiality?
Analyn: ... gang rape?
Jeff: Why are there no laws against this fic?
"Oh no!"
All: Mr. Bill!
Kota whispered.
Eddie: Kota, at this point, it's perfectly acceptable to scream at the top of your lungs. Try it. "OH, NO!"
The goblins grabed them,
Jeff: ... by the ghoolies.
Analyn: Man, I thought Fei being "baptized"
in that back alley was bad.
there weapons,
Eddie: [upset] Analyn, they did mean weapon,
right?
Analyn: I can only hope.
Eddie: Like sword and stuff?
Jeff: I hope they didn't mean Kota's fleshy
meat saber, anyway.
Analyn: Or Kota's now unloaded weapon.
Jeff: Seriously, Annie, this fic causes enough
pain, don't you start too.
the chalice, and the wagon and left the road.
Analyn: Wait, wouldn't that leave our two insipid heroes to choke and die?
Well what do you think?
Jeff: I think you have some sexual deviancy issues to work through with a trained psychologist.
Please reiveiw, or I will be forced to...Not continue, MUHAHAHAHAAA!
Eddie: Why is this bad?
Jeff: Shhh! Maybe she won't hear us, and --
Analyn: There IS a whole other chapter...
Jeff: Rats.