Okay, so I lied about posting chapter 5... so sue me!
Jeff: We can ficbitch you instead, how's that for you?
(runs and hides in a corner) ANYway, here it is! The long awaited chapter five.
Analyn: Says freaking who? Get a distribution like King, and then we'll talk.
In this chapter, Zelda and Serenity chat about where Serenity is from,
Eddie: Liar! They do not! We're just gonna get another topic list! I hate my life.
and then she and Link leave to start their journey.
Jeff: Question! Why do we have to read the chapter?
Analyn: Answer! Because we're ficbitches, my dear Jefferson, that's why.
Eddie: Addition! It's also probably because we like pain.
Link also begins to realize he may have more feelings for Serenity than hes letting on...
Analyn: Read that again. He starts to be aware of the fact that he has more feelings than he's showing. [pause] SO!?
Eddie: We're ... we're reading a soap opera preview, aren't we?
Yeah, lame chapter, I know, but hey its there, alright?
Jeff: Well. You've just convinced me to read on. Good ad job there.
Now for reviews...
Ganondorfson: you are SO my favorite person as of right now!
Eddie: Didn't she say the same thing for two chapters in a row?
Analyn: You know, perhaps Gannondorfson would make an appropriate beta reader. You know, if this author believed in such things as editing or not churning chapters out faster than a monkey hepped up on Ritalin.
I have a whole tray of cookies for you! (Sorry for taking so long to post this chapter! Please forgive me!)
Jeff: Oh, don't worry about that. I'd like to beat you with my Stick of Forgiveness, in fact.
Where are you people? Does my story suck that bad?
PLEASE review me! I will give you cookies if you do! ;)
Eddie: Analyn! It winked at me!
Analyn: There, there, we're just doing one chapter this time, it'll all be over soon...
Disclaimer: Yeah, I dont own Zelda, I said that before! However, Serenity and Star Streak are TOTALLY mine.
Jeff: Like, for sure.
If ya wanna use em, just ask!
Eddie: Hey, can we ask some other stuff?
Analyn: Did you write this as some sort of twisted Sue parody?
Jeff: This back story you keep alluding to, when will you tell it to us?
Eddie: How do you say 'fairierkin?'
Now that thats overwith, here is the chapter!
CHAPTER 5: THE BEGINNING OF FALLING IN LOVE?
Analyn: Hee hee!
Analyn: The Fanfiction.net chapter title for this chapter is The Beginning of Falling in L.
Jeff: L? Well, then. I L you, Annie.
Analyn: I L you too, Jeff.
Eddie: Hey, I'm not feeling any L over here!
Analyn: Oh, Eddie, we L you most of all!
Serenity hardly slept a wink that night.
Jeff: Well no wonder, if Link was tapping that all night long...
She had been thinking of what the goddess had told her.
Analyn: The goddess said a lot of things. But that's okay, Dear Author, I know you're not too big on specifics.
Before she knew it, it was daylight, and there was a knock at the door.
Eddie: [Knocker] Repo man!
Who is it? she called, and that silvery voice answered, Its Zelda, may I come in?
Jeff: Oh please oh please oh PLEASE let this turn into lesbian porn.
Of course! Serenity stood up and bowed as Zelda walked in, laughing,
Analyn: ... because she split her underpants.
Oh please Serenity,
Eddie: That's what we've said this whole time, just with different punctuation.
Analyn: "Oh, please. Serenity!?"
you dont have to be so formal around me.
Analyn: [Zelda] You just have to kiss my ring a little bit.
Jeff: Okay ... now pat her shoulder ... rub her arm, right, just to reassure her ... start to unbutton her dress...
Serenity blushed, Im sorry your ma... I mean Zelda, but Ive never been in the presence of royalty before. Zelda took her hand and led her out of the room,
Jeff: Hey! I bet this is leading somewhere good!
Eddie: Yaay, girl on girl!
Analyn: ... I gotta get some friends with vaginas.
Jeff: Please do!
Analyn: Not for that!
I will show you where the bath is,
Jeff and Eddie: YES!!
and then we shall meet in the courtyard to discuss about where it is you come from.
Jeff: Oh, I'm sure Zelda could make her --
Analyn: No! Bad Jeff! Down!
Serenity nodded; a bath was just what she needed.
Eddie: Zelda? Hey, help me, I need one too.
Jeff: Hey, buddy, I like how you think. Yeah, me too.
Eddie: We're dirty boys.
Jeff: Filthy. Yeah, Zelda, you and your buddy can just come over here and get us all soaped up...
Analyn: Geez, I need a bath now after listening to you too.
Jeff: Um, Annie ...
Eddie: We like you, but we're, uh, not in like with you.
Analyn: ... I freaking hate you both.
After she had bathed
Jeff: Hey! I know this fanfic has a tendency to skip over good scenes, but this is just cruel!
and changed into some other clothes,
Eddie: We never get anything good!
she was led by a guard into the courtyard,
Analyn: And what did he look like?
Analyn: Okay, so you two can be total hornballs and I can't?!
Eddie: Pretty much.
Jeff: She's still pissy because we don't want to take a bath with her.
where Zelda was waiting. The courtyard was beautiful: there were small flower gardens everywhere, which held beautiful blooms of almost every color imaginable.
Eddie: Ooo! Ooo! I imagine clear ones, can we have clear ones?
Analyn: [grumbles] Apparently I can't imagine ORLANDO Bloom...
There was also a few small fountains, and a small brook surrounding the area. A few shade trees were present, with benches under them.
Analyn: Even if everything's small, this courtyard must be the size of a zoo.
There was also a set of stairs that led to a window that looked into the throne room in the castle.
Jeff: Geez. And then Mary Serenity jumps through that window into the painting of the Mario world that Myamoto put there as a cookie, and somehow gets Mario to fall in love with her ...
Eddie: But is Mario really cute enough to warrant blind fangirl lust?
Analyn: Mario has a mustache. Think about what he could use that for.
Jeff: You're not allowed to call me a pervert ever again.
Analyn: Honestly, his lady tickler must be the only reason a blond, trim princess will stick with him.
Serenity sat down next to Zelda, who turned and said, I met with Impa last night, she is also my attendant. She informed me of the reasoning for your journey here.
Analyn: [Zelda] She was the main informer to me of the reaonings for the journey of you to here.
Serenity nodded and showed Zelda the same mark on her leg that she showed Impa.
Jeff: Then she showed her a little more leg. Zelda, in disbelief, began to touch it ...
Zelda smiled and nodded, so it is true then. You are truly the last of the Faierikins, arent you?
Eddie: [Serenity] Coincidentally, I'm also the last of the Mohicans.
Yes, I guess I am. I would have mentioned it sooner,
Analyn: [Serenity] But I got here like twenty hours ago, so I would have had to bend the fabric of time and space. That's not impossible for me to do, by the way.
but I really am still finding out the pieces of my past and of my destiny.
Eddie: [Serenity] Coincidentally, I have to put the pieces into the slot and make the right connection. But I must be quick, I'm racing the clock.
All: POP GOES PERFECTION!
Zelda shook her head, Dont be sorry, Serenity, I understand completely. I can tell that you do not pose a threat to us,
Jeff: [Zelda] What with your ability to do everything and all.
she leaned back and looked at the blue sky,
Eddie: So, wait.
Eddie: The sky is BLUE?!
Analyn: Holy crap. Is it? I gotta go check. [gets up and leaves for a moment]
Jeff: Hey, I've got my cell on me, hang on. [pretends to dial, holds it to his ear] Hey, Captain Obvious? Yeah, Big C. O.! It's me, Jeff. Got a question. Sky, blue? Really? Because we've got this fanfic here ... yeah ... actually, it IS Staff of Power ... wow, you were on the production team?
[Analyn sits back down]
Analyn: It looks blue, but I still think we need a second opinion.
Jeff: [hangs up] Well, Captain Obvious says it is.
Analyn: You have him on speed dial?
Jeff: I'm a licensed ficbitch.
so tell me about your world, please? Serenity sighed and thought to herself, "how am I ever going to explain all of the differences between our two worlds, I mean, my former world, or... wow, even Im getting confused."
Jeff: Try this -- "People have round ears and computers." That's really about it.
She looked at Zelda and began trying to explain the amazing feats of the human world.
Analyn: Like WHAT?! Seriously, what else is she gonna say, that men wear pants?
Two hours had passed,
Eddie: How? Author, really, I'm genuinely curious how she gave a two-hour dissertation on men's pants.
and Serenity had done better than she thought she had.
Jeff: I've just come to expect this high level of quality from her.
Analyn: Know what? She's definitely the best Sue on the Internet, that's for sure.
Zelda was very intelligent, and understood most of what Serenity had told her.
Eddie: But the part about the pants ... well, that was more disappointing than anything.
Such amazing things your world holds, Zelda stated in awe,
Analyn: Well SOMEONE'S never been goatse'd.
Jeff: To be fair, it's pretty amazing that someone can stretch like that.
I am amazed that even YOU understand it, and you lived there your whole life!
Eddie: I'm amazed that you just managed to snap my head in two.
Serenity giggled, Yes, that is true;
Analyn: [Serenity] Why yes, yes I AM amazing, thank you.
however I hope to never see it again. My soul tells me that this is where I belong.
Jeff: Serenity has a magical talking soul. Another Faierikin perk or what?
Zelda nodded, yes, I agree.
Eddie: [Zelda] Your soul spoke to me, too.
Analyn: [Serenity] Oh, that was just gas.
You are a Faierikin, and you are a part of Hyrules destiny, and that alone says that you shall stay. She then turned to her side
Analyn: Wow, she's like a circus contortionist!
Jeff: This makes the loss of that lesbian scene earlier that much more devastating.
and picked up a well worn dusty book,
Eddie: [Zelda] It's called How To Write A Story While Looking Competent And Not Sodomizing the English Language.
I found this last night, it should help you understand your powers and how to use them.
Analyn: [Zelda] Either that, or how to make a wicked clam bake ... I'm not sure myself, I didn't really read it.
Serenity smiled and started flipping through the dog-eared pages. Just then, Link entered the courtyard,
Jeff: Well ... he kinda looks like a girl, so if they DO do it...
Good morning ladies, as he bowed to what seemed like both of them. The two giggled and Zelda asked, where have you been this morning, hero?
Eddie: [Link] Oh, darlings, I just HAD to get my nails done!
I was loading supplies that we will need on our journey. You know, some bombs, arrows, my hookshot, lots of stuff.
Analyn: [Link] You know, stuff for me, stuff for me, more stuff for me ...
Eddie: [Zelda] Should we maybe pack food?
Analyn: [Link] Me, me, me ...
Jeff: [Serenity, shrieking] ME!
Serenity nodded, yeah, Im sure Eponas got a lot of room on her, but what am I supposed to do about supplies, and for that matter, a horse?
Jeff: You ride on Epona. Link's already mounted you once, so I'm sure you know where this is going.
Eddie: Wait, didn't Serenity and Link already ride Epona once together in an earlier chapter?
Link smiled, dont worry Serenity; I have already thought this through.
Analyn: [Link] About horses ... see, my DAD owns this DEALERSHIP...
I have it all figured out. Zelda stood up and faced Serenity, may the goddesses protect the both of you through your journey. Good luck.
Eddie: [Serenity] And may I have good luck stealing your boyfriend.
She bent over and kissed Serenitys forehead lightly;
Jeff and Eddie: YES!!
a symbol of great respect. For being a girl, Zelda was still a good three or four inches taller than Serenity.
Analyn: This is relevant because ... ?
Jeff: Wait, Serenity's 5"3'. Right?
Analyn: Hey, you're right. But she still has spirit.
Jeff: So let's not pretend Zelda's a monolith, mmmkay fanfic?
Link cleared his throat, Zelda, I know you dont want to hear this, but Impa and I were discussing earlier that, well, maybe it would be safest if you went into hiding.
Eddie: [Zelda] Because ... ?
Jeff: [Link] Because I'm trying to fall in love with Mary Serenity and I can't have you getting in the way.
Zelda looked concerned, do you really think that is necessary? Is Ganondorf really going to escape? Serenity spoke up, begging your pardon Zelda, but I dont think I would be here if he wasnt.
Analyn: Am I crazy or has NO ONE MENTIONED HIM UNTIL NOW?!
Zelda nodded, I guess youre right.
All: Mary Serenity, she can do no less.
I will leave for one of the neighboring countries.
Eddie: Man, if she went to the Mushroom Kingdom or Planet Zebes or Dreamland or something, that'd be awesome.
I have friends there who will gladly help me.
All: [singing] I get by with a little help from my friends, I get high with a little help from my friends...
Send word for me at once when the Evil One is defeated. The two chosen ones nodded, said good-bye, and headed to Hyrule Castle Town.
After walking toward the town for some time, Serenity looked at Link, do you really think hell go after Zelda again?
Jeff: [Serenity] Shouldn't he be madly in love with me too?
Link sighed, I wish I knew for sure. All I know is that he wanted her power last time, and she banished him to the Golden Land.
Analyn: That ... that didn't happen. At all. Did it? Am I crazy?
Jeff: I don't think so.
If and when he gets out, hes going to want revenge,
Jeff: Since he's been passed around like a prison bitch, traded for cigarettes and toilet wine for years...
and I dont think hell stop with gaining the Triforce of Wisdom, or the Triforce of Courage.
Eddie: He'll also gain thirty pounds.
Analyn: "I love chocolate. But I can't eat it,'cause I'll get fat. But I loooooooove chocolate!"
Serenity nodded, knowing full well that both Link and Zelda possessed pieces of the Triforce, since Zelda explained it to her.
Jeff: She knew something because it was explained to her. Well. Let me just dial up ol' Captain Obvious again ...
A few more minutes of silence and Serenity asked curiously, Were... you and Zelda... you know... ever...
Analyn: [Serenity] Did you, um, well, uh, do the freak nasty?
Link looked over at her, Hu?
Jeff: You know, the first couple hundred of times, I thought "hu" was a typo. But now, I really honestly think this author believes "huh" to be spelled with out the extra h.
Eddie: I just imagine you say it like "hoo." Loudly. Like you've hurt yourself. Makes all this more entertaining.
Oh... he blushed and looked ahead,
Analyn: Hero of time is ... is a prude?
no not really, we became good friends because of what happed all that time ago, but other than that, no.
Jeff: Link's gay?
Analyn: He's not gay!
Jeff: Oh, you and every other female gamer on the planet say no. But look at him!
Analyn: I like to, yes.
He gave a small glace at Serenity,
Eddie: He gave Serenity a small ice cube?
Jeff: Lady Glace?
and blushed even more, why?
All: Because we love you! M-O-U-S-E!
I dont know, she shrugged, its just that where I come from, stories of the Hero and the Princess always ended with them falling in love and living happily ever after.
Analyn: Someone doesn't read much Grimm's.
Link gave a small chuckle, wow, happily ever after, hu?
I wish that were the case, then Ganondorf wouldnt be coming back, he stopped suddenly, startling Serenity.
Eddie: But ... but he finished his sentence ... so why can't he stop?
To tell you the truth, you were the first girl I ever...
Jeff: [Link] Mounted and rode to the castle in a wild fit of passion.
he was really blushing now, that I ever... well, kissed.
Analyn: What?! That's crap. Did you PLAY Ocarina of Time? Everything in that game with two X chromosomes wanted to jump his bones so bad they couldn't stand it. There's just no way.
He turned away quickly, but Serenity gently grabbed his arm and turned him around.
Eddie: Some like it rough, I guess ... ?
His eyes were so blue, and she could tell the innocence in them,
Analyn: The mind of a deluded, love-sick fangirl who doesn't speak to boys is frightening. Does she really think this is possible?
You were the first for me, too.
Jeff: I can believe that.
They stood there for a few minutes, lost in each others eyes.
Eddie: Coincidentally, we're sitting here, lost in this fic's stupidity.
"Is this what they mean by starting to fall in love...?"
All: STARTING TO FALL IN L!
Link thought, then quickly dismissed it, "no, it cant be. Shes too perfect for someone like me.
Analyn: I wish that weren't true. Seriously, Jesus is getting a little testy at this point.
But I cant help but think as I look in her eyes, maybe..."
Eddie: Oh, just break into a chorus of Can You Feel The Love Tonight? and be done with it.
He didnt have time to finish his thought, because their lips had met and were locked in a kiss. This one was more meaningful than the others, for it was followed by Link gently, and cautiously, putting his arms around Serenity, pulling her just slightly closer.
Jeff: So, Link hugged her. Cautiously. This Link is an utter sissy.
When they broke,
Eddie: They're broken? Hooray, fic over!
Analyn: Well, my soul's broken, anyway.
they stared into each others eyes for what felt like forever. Link was the first to move, Uh, we should really get going, were losing time.
Analyn: Hey, we've lost hours upon hours on this fic ...
Jeff: Actually, that doesn't speak well of us.
Serenity nodded, yeah, youre probably right. We need all the time we can get. With that the two continued walking to the Market.
Eddie: Actually, isn't the cool part over now?
Analyn: Hey, you're right. With these kinds of stories, the best part is waiting to see if they're gonna get together. Here it is, chapter five, and we've already found out.
Jeff: And really, there's not much else to care about.
Analyn: I can't wait to see what this author pulls next.
Well, there was chapter five, told ya it was kinda lame, didnt I?
Jeff: I'm being sincere when I say that I'd like to see a not-lame chapter from you.
Please review it,
and I will have chapter six along as soon as I find time! Thanks peoples!
Analyn: We out.
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